I was walking in a pasture the other day for reasons I am not yet about to disclose. As I was walking, I avoided a cow pie only to step in a big pile of horse shit. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be a problem, but I had on my newest, trendiest, and most expensive cowboy boots. (I guess that's why they call them shit kickers.)
I tried to clean the boots up as best as I could, but since they weren't canvas tennis shoes (which in all honesty I should have been wearing), I couldn't quite get the shit out of them. The heel of my left boot is shit-stained and the smell hasn't quite left the boot yet, creating a stench that is causing me to leave my formerly-favorite boots outside instead of in the house.