Some Chick Just Dropped a Beer Pong Table on my Toe

Some Chick Just Dropped a Beer Pong Table on my Toe

You will not believe what happened to me last weekend- (or maybe you will- I’m not sure- it all depends on what kind of people you’ve been exposed to). I was visiting someone in another town for a birthday extravaganza with a friend. I wasn’t that close to the birthday boy, but had met him before. The party got started early and everyone was having a rocking time until everyone gathered at a sports bar to watch some football and celebrate more.

That’s when I met the birthday boy’s BFF- Best Friend Forever (and no she wasn’t in middle school even though it sounds like it). She was around his age and seemed really friendly and excitedly showed him his birthday present- a really nice beer pong table that she had in the back of her van. Her friendliness lasted exactly ten minutes until her BFF started talking to pretty girls. (She then moved to another table for a “date” where she could still watch the action at our longer table after ceremoniously announcing that she was going to the “big people’s table”.)

I was having fun talking to everyone else and watching the game, but stopped by to say hi to her on my way back from the bathroom- she seemed happy and showed off her date to me.

At last, the game was over and my friend and I didn’t have a ride back to the birthday boy’s place- someone decided that we were going to ride with the BFF (the car we had taken was a few blocks away, but neither one of us like to drive drunk). I climbed right into the front seat and heard all about her soul mate (her new date, not her BFF). The ride was kind of a blur; when we arrived, we tried to help her with the beer pong table and this is where the BFF got a little ugly for my tastes. I said something innocuous to my ears about myself- I think it was something about being a klutz (to her ears, it must have sounded horrendous) and she turned nasty- she turned to me and said, “Oh really?” and snarled.

She then looked me straight in the eye and dropped the beer pong table (which is f*ing heavy) on my toe. On purpose. As a result, my entire toe is black and blue, my nail is half falling off, and I was in a great deal of pain for the rest of the evening. Her phone beeped a second later and she took off without apologizing. I told her BFF the story- he said that she wasn’t exactly the nicest of people. In my opinion, she is closer to Kathy Bates in Misery- and as a warning- if you’re an adult and someone is telling you that you are their BFF, they might not be the most mature person you know.

I’m just happy she wasn’t my BFF.