This One Goes Out to the Friend I Left Behind:

 

I’ve heard talk that you complain incessantly about my blogging. Why my blogging offends you is not yet clear to me and I doubt it ever will be. It is unlikely that you were assigned to read everything I write for any kind of class and also unlikely that anyone would actively force you to read something which you find so offensive. 

 

Is it wrong of me to think that perhaps you are a little bit obsessed with me? I mean that in the worst way possible. If someone ends a friendship with you, shouldn’t you see that as a sign that maybe the person didn’t like you that much? 

 

If I didn’t appreciate you enough for your valuable qualities, I guess I should be sorry. But it’s really hard for me to do that when every time I hear your name, it’s in a negative context as it relates to me. 

 

If you don’t like my blog posts, don’t read them. 

 

If you don’t like me (which is what I hear through the grapevine), then be glad that I’ve moved on from our friendship and do the same. If you can. 

 

If you think that you are missing me as a friend, make a new friend and let her be the unwitting dupe and the person you talk shit about it because I’m tired of it. 

 

If you think you’re prettier than me, you’re probably right. You’re a few years younger than me, you’re more fit, and your husband (not that you appreciate him) is truthfully hotter than any guy I’ve ever been with. You’re definitely better at domestic chores than I am.

 

That’s about it. I know that you believe you are better than me. 

 

I’m positive you are in many ways, but I’ve got you beat in one major way which may explain why I keep my friends and you don’t; I’m generally a nicer person than you are. 

 

There. I’ve finally said it. I’ve thought it for a long time, but have never said it to any of our mutual friends. Just like I’ve never said anything about the fact that you lied to everyone about your degree. Did you know that you can now look those up online now?

 

I didn’t wnat to be friends with you because I didn’t enjoy spending time with you all that much and I felt that you weren’t that much of a friend to me. Life is too short to hang out with people you don’t like. 

 

(Or to read blog posts of people you don’t like.)

 

Keep it up if you like, but don’t lie and say that you have nothing against me because I know it isn’t true. 

 

Tata.