
Awhile after moving to this area, I heard one of the most asinine statements I have ever heard in my life: "Manners are a sign of weakness." My first thought was "oh- that means you're an uncouth boor who wasn't brought up to know anything." I resisted the impulse to say what I thought, as the individual was only putting into words the kinds of behavior I've encountered since I came here.
I have manners. Manners-- or basic courtesy-- is nearly as much an instinct as breathing. Not only do individuals in this area not practice basic courtesy, they see it as very negative-- as you are sucking up, kowtowing, or don't have the "self-esteem" to be rude, arrogant, and obnoxious.
Manners and basic courtesy are signs of being a civilized human being. Somehow, it has not caught on in this area. One example: please, excuse me, and thank you are rarely heard. I've been told the words thank you do not have to be used "because it is implied." Huh?!
Another example: if a person goes to your home to see someone other than you, it is nothing more nor less than basic manners for the person to say hello to you-- especially if it was you who answered the door. That is not done here, either. Instead, they simply barge past you without a word-- and do not even answer if you greet them.
Yet another example is also common to some regions, rather than generations: kids, people whom I do not really know, and people with whom I do business in person, addressing me by my first name. This is one habit that almost leaves me gritting my teeth and hissing. I was brought up with the belief-- and still have it-- that using first names is limited to your friends and family.
No, I don't think "manners are a sign of weakness." The lack of courtesy is a sign of having no consideration for one's fellow human beings.
image: morguefile

