Heidi Montag’s mom is my hero. She told her shallow, vacant daughter the blatant truth, what anyone who  has laid eyes on this crazy girl can see: she’s vain, insecure and talentless.

"She was saying how sad it is that my confidence is gone because of the music industry I'm trying to get into." – Heidi Montag, said about her mother.

Her poor mother must feel like a mother bird who’s chick has been handled. Heidi would be lucky if her mother didn’t roll her out of the nest for this idiot move. The best thing about this is how Heidi tanked a face and body that was naturally more spectacular than 98 percent of the population.

Now she’s headed for catwoman city. Her poop-for-brains husband (did they ever get married?) probably encouraged this, and Heidi, in her confusion about why her mom would freak out, blamed her reaction on jealousy:

"I think she was most upset that Spencer was there for me and she wasn't," said the confused star.

She was upset because you mutilated yourself, and she is probably one of the last people on Earth who actually cares about you Heids, so start realizing. And that pop star career you cited as the necessary reason for this drastic mutilation? Not gonna happen. You can’t start at plastic surgery and hope the career follows. Let’s see, Christina Aguilera, spotted on Star Search as a major talent at age 8, Mousketeer, golden pipes, talented and not too bad looking. Britney, performing since age 5, Mousketeer, a lifetime of prep for the industry – Heidi: Reality TV star at age 16. END CREDITS.  No talent, now scarred for life by obvious and futile surgery. People accept fake when we can pretend it’s real. Once we know for sure for sure that you are a vapid shell of a human scrambling to get onto TV any way you can, even we, the fickle idiotic TV viewers of America, reject you.

So here’s to you Mama Montag, push that handled bird out of your nest and see if those boobs help her fly. Don't let your daughter be an example to the girls of the world, let them know she is damaged and that's why she needed to alter what was already beautiful (on the outside at least).