Due to circumstances beyond my control, I’m forced to look for another place to live. I will not be living with Norm and his friendly, but elderly friend Jim, nor will I be living in the “Americorps House” with seven total strangers living under one roof while it is being remodeled. I might have considered either if I were going to be on a reality TV show and paid enormous sums of money for the privilege of living with strangers and making a fool of myself, but since no one is offering me any positions on reality TV, I’ll have to decline.

I probably won’t live with Bernie either, and it’s not because he’s a serious UW Husky fan who watches the games in a Husky snuggie, but because I felt like the Floridian who saw the house with me at the same time was perhaps a little too anal for my liking.

Unfortunately and much to my regret, I won’t be living with Robert either although I’m sure he would have taught me the rules of soccer better than anyone else could have. Also, as eager as I am to get my hands on a copy of Stich-n-Bitch, I’m not sure I’m compatible for a house full of 20-something-year-old knitters and bakers.

The entire hunt for a roommate seems strange; I’m interviewing the potential roommates as I snoop around their houses and apartments to see if we share the same standards of cleanliness. I want to ask certain roommates if they are just vegetarians or if they are strict Vegans and how offended they will be if I eat eggs for breakfast and others how loudly they watch their TVs.

Most of my potential roommates didn’t ask me quite as many questions as I thought they would; Norm didn’t have any interest in me at all and the others were just looking for a living, breathing human to fill the spot. (Since I’ve not yet been infected by any Zombie viruses, I met this requirement without any problems.) Some asked too many questions of a strange nature and I wanted to remind them that I wasn’t planning on marrying them, just on  living in the same house for a few months.

In the end, I’m not sure that I’ll end up with a roommate at all; roomshare situations are often fraught with danger. Maybe I’ll just take my chances in the housing market and go it alone.