Balloon Boy, you’re ok. I mean, you’re six years old and your Dad told you to lie. That’s all right in my book- you’re allowed to try and protect your father. Balloon Boy Mom and Pop, you freaking piss me off.

What right do you have to exploit your child and your stupid-assed balloon to make everyone in the states feel sympathy for you for nothing? Little children should not be used for the advancement of fricking media whores like you and your family, nor should public and private resources be used to find someone who was never even missing in the first place.

I worried about your son. Poor little guy, lost forever. I still worry about your son because his parents suck ass. What must it feel like to be exploited purely for the sake of your idiotic attention-mongering parental units? What does he feel like for having the possible wrath of his rather strange parents for being the one to expose their horrendous plan?

And to the parents, how do you feel now that you are getting all the attention you’ve ever wanted and possible felony charges to boot? Does it make you feel special to know that the world (or at least the United States, which is the world to most of us Americans) hates your fricking guts? Do you feel like heroes when you see yourselves squirming on the evening news or does it just remind you how you were only clever enough to get the positive media attention for a few hours only? Or do you remind yourselves that you would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those kids?

Seriously, WTF? I liken this to me taking an imaginary hike, then calling the park ranger to tell them the tragic tale of my lost hiking partners who I heroically left after witnessing them falling off a ravine. I’d have the world’s focus on me for 24-hours before the media  found out that my “missing hiking partners” were really my friends vacationing in Tahiti or some godawful tropical location.

How do you justify your actions to yourself? The balloon-boy hoax was deliberate, pre-meditated, and idiotic. Since it was pre-meditated, you would think that you would have followed it to its own logical conclusion: ie. that you would get caught for your actions, but apparently you did not think it through.